By Clarence Coo
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MR. GREEN I do not know. OFFICER May I inspect your bag? MR. GREEN Of course. OFFICER What a lovely bag! MR. GREEN Thank you. OFFICER There is a gun inside your bag! ) Why is there a gun inside your bag? mr. green’s joy evaporates. 26 Beautiful Province MR. GREEN I do not know. OFFICER Is the gun for business, or for pleasure? Pause. MR. GREEN It is not for pleasure. I do not feel pleasure. Suddenly the officer sounds like a therapist, one with a calm, soothing voice. OFFICER Why aren’t you feeling pleasure?
GREEN What about Dairy Queen? JIMMY We can skip Dairy Queen. I’m not very hungry. MR. GREEN You sounded hungry. JIMMY I can go on my own. Next time. MR. GREEN Then let’s go to Canada. JIMMY Okay. MR. GREEN The border isn’t very far. JIMMY No, the border isn’t far at all. mr. green continues driving. End of scene. Scene 6 Jimmy Attends the Steed jimmy waits in front of the car, alone. An eighteenth-century fur trader approaches. He speaks with stoic fortitude. TRADER Greetings. JIMMY Greetings. Pause.
It’s not a fantasy of course. 50 Beautiful Province WAITER What do you mean? MR. GREEN Connor and Nate are having sex. It’s not just a fantasy I’ve created. It’s a fact. I know the difference between fantasy and reality. WAITER But you fantasize. MR. GREEN Yes, that’s the word. Let’s be precise with our words. ) Look, here’s a picture of me. I look so distinguished, don’t I? And they have no idea. None of the other teachers. Deﬁnitely none of the parents. It’s just Mr. Green. French teacher. (He looks down at what he’s holding.
Beautiful Province by Clarence Coo